Scuda….more or less

The fate of Premier League Chief, Richard Scudamore, dominated the bar conversation in my local on Sunday lunchtime and certainly divided opinion. Half of us felt that he should remain in his job whilst the others believed that he should immediately replace Greg Dyke as chairman of the F.A.
The one thing we all agreed upon was that if everyone were sacked for exchanging banter on e mail, unemployment levels in Britain would race past Greece within days.
Nobody condoned genuine sexism or abuse but we all recognised that there is sense of perspective to be observed and we are bound to reflect upon why the temp who “blew the whistle” seemed unable to hold down a permanent job.
It also reminded me of an incident at a local golf club when a golfer swore profusely upon missing a nine inch putt on the eighteenth green in the Club Championship. A lady member on the balcony overheard this profanity and complained, prompting an extraordinary meeting of the house rules committee. They acted promptly. Forthwith, ladies were banned from the balcony on competition days.

By Les Murphy

Eurovision Pub Vision

I am proud to declare that I helped to arrange an event to celebrate the Eurovison Song Contest in our local last Saturday.
I happen to believe that Eurovision is an absolutely vital part of British Culture, if only to remind us the depth on contempt in which we are held by the rest of Europe.
Mine host offered two for one on drinks of the country of origin, purchased whist their contestant was performing. Admittedly, the bar was quiet during the Uzbekistan entry so we served the Eurobuffet.
It would have been nice for the United Kingdom entry to win but how on earth could we compete with a transvestite bearded songbird?
Does anyone have Susan Boyle’s phone number?

Boys For Brazil

All the talk tonight at Beer O Clock was the England side selected to bring the Jules Rimet trophy back to England in July. The squad, selected by the Sun Newspaper and announced by Roy Hodgson held few surprises. Ashley Cole demonstrated admirable dignity and statesmanship in announcing his retirement from international football just hours before the squad was announced but just seconds after being told he wasn’t in it. His agent has suggested that he might be persuaded to reverse this decision and come out of retirement but only if a subsequent England manager rates him rather higher than Roy does. The only other surprise is the inclusion of Frank Lampard. Roy Hodgson clarified that he hasn’t actually been selected to play but as the only footballer still playing, who can remember the 1966 victory, Frank has been taken to tuck the kids in at night and tell them bedtime fairy tales of winning it again.